Four Years of Marriage

I have always enjoyed St Patrick’s Day. The emphasis of the color green that gives me hope while waiting for all the trees to get their leaves.

People had mixed reactions when I picked St. Patrick’s Day to be my wedding day. When asked why I chose it my response was humorous mixed with wisdom; “I like to go out and my husband doesn’t; so once a year we are forced to go out together while everyone else is out too.”

We have been married for four years, we should have married sooner. My husband, was shocked the day I announced “Go pick me out a ring, we are getting married.” It was practical and made sense. Today that story makes me laugh because he went and got a ring.

What have I learned though? Four years of actual marriage what is my take away?

Things did change when I became a wife, just like my mother said. I didn’t like that at first and took some getting used to. I embrace it now. My husband has my best interest at heart and when he says no (which is rare) I know it is for my good. He loves me like Christ loves the church.

I learned that we will not run from our problems. I understand why people get divorced and there are exceptions. We gladly do not fall into the exception. This resilience for me, comes from my watching my parents. They have stood the test of time for better and worse. Rich or poor. Sick or in health. It is breath taking how they have stayed together unequally yoked and surprisingly not bitter. Bad days are just that and still after 30+ years of marriage they do still have good days.

Excepting flaws, for a long time I thought that I was more flawed than my husband. Awed after all those years of me chanting I would NEVER marry; he went and bought a ring with no questions asked when I had a change of heart. I realize now that we are equally flawed. BUT I accept him where he is right now. Just like he accepted all my imperfections a long time ago. I try to love him like Christ loves me. I fail but at the end of the day we had each other in the beginning and we will be left with each other in the end. It is better to laugh now than drift apart because of humanities flaws.

Our differences keep us interesting to each other. We are total opposites. From politics, religion, definitions of yelling, books, movies, music. Name it we see it differently. This is a blessing though. It is never dull and conversations always possess witty banter. This is a good for me, I am easily bored. It used to upset me that our tastes were different but now I look at it like a challenge to keep both of us engaged in our relationship. We are not the type to finish each others sentences. I am am better for it.

Lastly, I have learned the most about myself. I can swallow my pride and say I am sorry. I can love unconditionally. I can be responsible for our actions. I can be honest with myself and my husband. I can count on someone to always be there. I can trust my husband, that he has my best interest at heart. I can be loyal and put him first. These things are what people really want deep inside their hearts, and I am blessed to have it.

Here is to the next 365 days; my we grow together forever more! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!





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