School has resumed for everyone. My oldest went back to school on Monday. It has been a transition. I think I have finally figured out an absolute truth about having kids. I am going to be in constant transition for the next 14 years. It took me 9 years and two kids to realize this, but I did finally make this distinction.
I was putting laundry into the washer when it came to me. With all the mini-breaks, the long holiday breaks, the summer breaks; and then going back to school after all of these. Also, their natural processes going through their bodies. From a budding kindergartner who barely can say their numbers to a fifth grader struggling with independence. A middle schooler who is awkward and judging themselves against the genes of their peers and what that even means. A high schooler who is scared of flying out of the nest or a high schooler who can’t fly away fast enough. Trying to fit in, compromising themselves for that goal. Going against the stream and being labeled nerd for it. While I sit there watching my kids try and try and try again different skills; excelling and failing. Knowing first hand what their mistakes will mean for them and praying that I am wrong.
It is exhausting to think about the changes kids face.
Nothing in this life will be constant with any kid. There will always be a learning curve. Reteaching them how to get up for school. Why we go to church. How to deal with the unpleasantness of life and having a good attitude about it.
It is a full time job just keeping up with their changes and the challenges those changes bring. I needed this realization about how we were never going to find a long term groove that we could hold onto. I needed to understand this because finding that year in and year out groove is something I have been searching for since I walked him into his class his first day of Head Start.
My time chart will always look different depending on the season my kids are in. My life will change every three months. I cannot hold onto these temporal schedules anymore. What worked during Christmas break will not work during the second semester. What works during second semester will not work during summer. That is the way it will go until both have graduated from high school and I am ok with that. I will not keep searching for something that cannot be found.
This is what can be consistent for me among the many changes I am headed towards….
- I can find peace in every situation that I bring to my God and Savior.
- I can find His heavenly wisdom to process every change that comes.
- I can track when changes are coming and put prayer over them before they happen.
- I can be at peace about an ever changing life because I know with certainty that it is always going to be changing.
- I can find my need for consistency in God who never changes.
- I can let go of the expectations of others; including their good expectations.
- I can please God in my own way without being a copy of someone else’s lifestyle.
- I can find joy in the changes that are coming in March, June, August, November, December, and every unexpected change along the way.
This is God’s desire to be joyful and thankful in all changes and circumstances.